The early morning sun was drying the grass on the lawn outside the Oval Office.
6.30 am, and the place was buzzing with activity. Inside, the President was already at work. He sat crouched over his cell-phone, fingers running over the keys like a demented pianist. Not a moment to lose. The world was anxious for the latest tweet from the White House. Donald Trump was not a man to keep an audience waiting.
Several of his key advisors blended into the background. They sat removed from the Presidential desk awaiting the call. They knew better than to interrupt him when he was tweeting.
Trump swung around in his chair and beckoned Rex Tillerson, Secretary of State, to approach. Tillerson rose and moved to the desk sitting opposite the President.
‘I’ve just tweeted Dennis (Rodman) and asked him to come here. He’s in NYC at the moment. I want you to get Marine Two to pick him up and get him here pronto.’
‘Yes, Mr President. Will there be anything else?’
‘Not for now, no, but you can get Sarah in here as you leave.’
‘Sure.’
Rex Tillerson hurried out. He knew that Trump was up to something, but it would be folly even to enquire at this early stage. He had learned to be patient.
‘Hi Sarah, the Chief wants you in there now.’
‘What’s up Rex?’
‘He’s up to something; just tweeted Dennis Rodman and now I’ve got to get him here from New York ASAP.’
Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Presidential Press Secretary, shuffled her feet, sightlessly seeking the shoes she had slipped off as soon as she had sat down. She gave up and stooped to retrieve the fashionable court shoes. They were new and not worn in. She found them uncomfortable, but they flattered her legs and Trump said he liked them so she persisted.
She strode briskly through the half-open door.
‘Mr President, gentlemen, good morning.’
‘Take a seat Sarah. I want a Press Release prepared. I want it out there at a moments notice, but I want it on ice until I give the word, understood?’
Sarah nodded.
‘Four people, ONLY FOUR PEOPLE, will know about this and if it’s leaked it will be career ending, I promise you.’
The finger met the thumb. The signature Trump ‘Air-nip’ indicated the seriousness of the threat.
‘I’ve asked Dennis Rodman to join us. Hopefully he can be here before lunch, and we can work on a proposal over a burger.’
Trump smiled knowingly to himself, enjoying a private joke.
‘North Korea has gone as far as it can go. Anything from here on in, short of all-out war will mean a loss of face for Kim Jong-un, and he will not tolerate that. What he needs is an alternative strategy, and we have come up with a doozy.
Ambassador Cha in Seoul has been getting reports that the North Korean population nearest the Chinese border are preparing to evacuate. Kim would rather shoot them and the Chinese don’t want them either. It’s a good scenario for this plan to possibly work.
Rodman’s links to North Korea are well known, there is a genuine rapport between him and Kim, and we need to make that work for us.
What I’m proposing is that Rodman contacts Kim and says something like, ‘This is getting worse by the minute. Let’s have one more shot at peacefully restoring better relations through sport and continue the dialogue. I am working on raising a team of NBL Superstars that will come over with me and give the people the treat of a lifetime’.
‘Apparently the only foreign TV sport available to North Korean audiences is English Premier League Soccer, Kim is a Manchester United fan and, Manchester United just happen to be owned by the Glazer family, based in New York. I know them all well and can rely on their support.
If we can get this up and running in the next twelve hours, I think we can blind side Kim Jong-un. Our people in the South will be doing whatever they can to inform the population in the North about what is happening. They too would prefer sport to war and I reckon we could rely on their passive support at least.
Rodman is the key to all this. Those of you who have met him will know that he is as vain as Kim, so make him feel good while he’s around, OK?’
Sarah sat there silently. She thought about ‘Alice in Wonderland and the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party.’ ‘The Donald’s Burger Diplomacy’ seemed on a similar scale. No worries, it was all on her iPhone and ready for downloading come the call.
The Rodman entrance was as orchestrated as he could have wished. A giant of a man, more than two meters tall, he was escorted to the Oval Office by two burly Marines and welcomed by the President with an affectionate bear hug.
After brief introductions, they all moved to a nearby room set out for such meetings. A large table, twelve chairs and a whiteboard were the accoutrements, hot-dogs, burgers, coffee and doughnuts the sustenance.
‘Dennis,’ the President began, ‘we thank you for taking the time to be with us today. To say that we are experiencing ‘interesting times’ is an understatement. Our people are doing everything they can to avoid a confrontation on the Korean Peninsula, but it’s not looking good, not good at all.’
‘I hear you Mr President and will do whatever you want to help in any way I can.’
‘Thank you, I appreciate it Dennis. I knew we could count on you. So here’s my idea.
You know Kim personally; know his personality and how his mind works. He sure as hell won’t listen to me, but maybe he might see some reason if you spoke to him.’
Rodman looked a little uneasy.
‘I can’t just call him on my cell-phone, I’d never get through.’
‘No, I understand that he’s impulsive and so are you, let’s see if he would agree to this. Say you were to get a bunch of your former teammates from the Pistons, Spurs, Bulls and Lakers and announced that you were heading off to play exhibition games in South Korea and that you hoped that Kim might invite you to Pyongyang to play there. Do you think he might buy it?’
The basketball great thought for a minute before answering.
‘I honestly don’t know Mr President. Kim’s an absolute NBL freak, and it could be too big an opportunity for him to pass up. There’s a chance he’d buy it.’
The President smiled.
‘I knew we could count on you. Now let’s look at the detail. You check out who’s available and willing to make the trip. Tell them it will happen within the next ten days. We will announce in Seoul the arrangements for the trip implying that it has been in the works for several months.
You can tell your buddies that they will be looked after financially. I will sign an Executive Order nullifying their Annual Tax Return to zero by way of ‘Thank You’ from a grateful nation.’
Rodman brushed imaginary dust off his colourful pants and tried to look modest.
‘Don’t give up on the idea of contacting Kim yourself. Once he knows that this is on you might get clearance to call him.
Now, if you have no questions, I would ask you to get on with raising the best team you can, and we’ll get to work on making the media aware of our plans. In anticipation, we all thank you.’
A ripple of applause ran around the table as Rodman rose and sauntered to the door where he reunited with his two Marine minders who escorted him back to the waiting helicopter.
The door closed and the President immediately turned to the Press Secretary.
‘Sarah, draft a communiqué to the media telling them that Rodman has suggested a ‘ABL Peace Mission’ to South Korea and is finalizing an All-Star Team to fly out in a matter of days.
Rex, you get onto Victor Cha in Seoul and tell him what’s happening. If we get the slightest hint of a positive response from the North, I will advise Defence Secretary Mattis that our continuing joint exercises with the South Korean forces are on hold.
We can safely assume that info. we get back to Kim quicker than I could tweet it.’
He laughed at his self-deprecating humour, and the mood in the room lifted.
All through the late afternoon and early evening, every channel led their sports news with the story. Dennis Rodman was ‘The Peace Ambassador.’ His talented cohorts were replacing the threat of Hydrogen Warfare with hoops! The man himself, back in NYC had to ask for the sanctuary of Trump Towers so that he could work the phones.
In North Korea, the silence was deafening. Nothing was better than hysterical rhetoric or, worse still, confirmed underground explosions. This silence had the potential to be golden.
Rodman’s powers of persuasion, plus the generous Executive Order promise ensured that more than enough players wanted in. It took some time to cull them down to a reasonable squad size and then to advise the White House.
Meanwhile, the President had been busy himself on the phone to Ambassador Cha advising him of the planned exhibition tour.
‘Get four or five major venues pencilled in Victor. Get dates from them for the next two weeks when they are available. I’m sure that you have people on the ground that can arrange marketing and publicity at short notice.
I’ve spoken with President Moon Jae-in, and he’s right behind this idea. It took a bit more persuasion to get the joint exercises on hold, but he ultimately agreed with it.
Back here, the Air Force will fit out a C-5 Galaxy at the Dover AFB, Delaware to accommodate the players and officials. The whole thing will be kosher. No involvement from CIA or the FBI. If anything were to go wrong, I want us all to come out of it smelling of roses.
I’ve selected the Galaxy for another reason, McDonalds. They’ve got a fleet of mobile kitchens and have offered us six of them to take with us on the trip. They will easily fit on board. If anything is likely to make the population of North Korea envious of our life-style it’s gotta be a ‘Big Mac’ and, if we get the OK to go North, we’ll have the six kitchens parked around the stadium giving burgers away for free!
So that’s the picture, Victor. I hope it works; I think it can and who knows, if it does I might just be facing D. Rodman himself in the next run of Primaries.’
RAY DOYLE October 16 2017
Ray Doyle 